Decisions For Me
by BurrisTasha
Summary: Evangeline is moving back to her hometown to startover after her nasty divorice and to take care of her aging grandma. She isn't looking for love until it's looking her in the face theatening to walk away from her.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Here I am driving to the one town that I have always wanted to run from as I was growing up. And now twelve years later here I am willingly returning. Damn men, you know sometimes they really are good for nothing but trouble with a capital T and bring drama in to your life. Really people, who knew that at the tender young age of thirty I of all people would be saying that yes I am a great doctor at an amazing hospital but I am divorced and moving to my hometown and starting over completely and willingly moving in with my aging Nana Elaine Hanes . My own mother and I are no longer on the greatest of speaking terms now. Ever since the divorce from Holden St. James. The divorce was strike one, me asking for the divorce was strike two, and finally deciding to leave my very expensive apartment, amazing job where I was on the fast track to becoming chief of medicine was the last strike in my mother's eyes (I mean if I am to have a career than I better be the best in my field according to my mother). My mother Ellie May Smith-Hanes blames me for not trying harder to make things work between myself and Holden. Although I can't very well in good conscious all the way blame her for her way of thinking, even though I want to. I mean some of it is from the way she was raised and was taught by my Grandma Anna Smith.

My parents have always, I thought had this perfect marriage, they always seemed to be happy to me as they live their life. I guess if my Mother is perfectly content to take care of my Dad and their house then that is her right as wife, mother and woman, right? I really shouldn't judge her for it; it's just not for me. Growing up all I ever wanted was to become a great doctor and to leave Summer Hill, Wisconsin; a small town of about a thousand people give or take a child. It really is a place where everyone knows everyone and their business, and is related to each other in some way or other. Since I wanted out so badly I made sure I did everything in my control and power to make sure that come graduation I had a one way ticket out of my one stop light small country town. I was valedictorian of my high school graduating class of about one hundred people with a GPA of 3.8 on a 4.0 scale. I was offered a full academic scholarship to any college in the country that I wanted to attend, the choice was mine. I chose to attend University of Southern California.

I chose USC, for a couple of reasons actually truth be told it was just one main reason, it was thousands of miles away from my small town in Wisconsin, and is a big city. Well, to me it was a big city in California that was miles away from everything and everyone that I knew. USC was the farthest I could go and be in a warm climate but also was so far away from my Mother and her criticism. College was amazing, not only because it challenged me academically but it was this amazing big city that I had a great time in. I made so many amazing friends and did all this extremely fun and new things that were so far from my comfort zone, and I loved every minute of it. Since I did my undergrad at University of Southern California, did my graduate studies at John Hopkins Medical University and my residency at Bellevue Hospital Center, where I was later offered a job.

I meet Holden Eric St. James when I was a sophomore. I was in the library studying for my economics mid-term since my roommate was entertaining her new guy of the week. Holden was there flirting with some chesty sorority blonde bimbo. He got on my nerves so much that I moved a couple times and found that he was following me around the library. I hated Holden so much; he just got on my nerves and I thought he was some fraternity idiot that I didn't have time for since I wanted to be the next young doctor. Here I was trying to study while he was making so much noise in the library that I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing with my paper. But after talking to him for a while I found that he made me laugh, and he truly seemed to me like this perfect guy. We started dating shortly after that and he treated me like a queen. You know the way a girl always wants her boyfriend to treat her Holden did it and then went over that line with it. Everything that I expected from him he did and then some; Holden was perfect for me or so I thought at first. After graduation everyone who knew Holden before dating me (most of his family) told me that I was the reason that Holden had graduated in the first place. I felt so special and honored that they thought that I was a good influence on him. Holden and I moved to Baltimore so that I could attend John Hopkins and do my graduate studies. After that we moved to New York and Holden had his dream job on Wall Street as a Finance Advisor and since I was doing my residency at Bellevue Hospital Center he had the better paying job. So we got an apartment in Manhattan since it was closer to where he worked and I traveled from lower Manhattan to Bellevue Hospital where I did my internship and graduate studies. Not really that big a deal unless you're like me and dating a psycho that so many of his exs' tried in vain to tell me about. But me, no I didn't listen to any of them and just took it as them being jealous that he wanted to be with me and just looked at how he treated me and what he looked like. Silly me, I so should have listened to them.

When Holden and I got our first apartment together I thought it was so beautiful and one of the most amazing places I had ever lived in. Holden told me that I only loved the place so much because I was from such a small town, even though he had never been there with me on any holiday vacation that I returned home to. It was or is below Holden St. James to go to and be in any small country town. He was or is from a wealthy family, you know lap of luxury, silver spoon in his mouth and all you know but really such a damn shame for him. He had always done that though now as I look back and think of the many memories. Holden would always say to me "Evangeline, honey you need to learn how to act in public with me. I can't have you acting all country bumpkin hillbillyish all the damn time."

Which would in turn piss me off and I would stop talking to him for a while until he made some kind of grand gesture to me in the shape of really expensive jewelry, flowers, a day at the spa or take me shopping for any and everything I wanted. I know that I let him get away with all that damn crap and am partly to blame for my marriage not working out. Then my best friend Jacob Harris would tell me that it wasn't my fault like best friends are supposed to or any part my fault. I would listen to Jacob's advice since he was becoming a psychiatrist. Anyway, now here I am on the interstate heading back to my roots of Wisconsin, to take care of my Nana Hanes since she, I believe is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's but don't really know for positive and won't know until I get there, if I ever do. I looking in to her health will irritate her and she will no doubt tell me I'm making a mole out of a mole hill of her forgetting a few things and that she is just getting older but better safe than sorry I say. You should know how older people are, forgetting things every now and then. Nana Elaine Hanes is now seventy-four years old and I can't help but worry about her living alone in that big old house. She is the woman I was named after and since she is my Dad's mother who lived just a few minutes away from me my whole life I saw her a whole hell of a lot more than I did my Grandma Anna Smith who lives two towns away from where I grew up in this huge house that is a mini mansion.

I love my Nana Elaine, she is my world and I am determined to do any and everything I can to make sure that she is super healthy forever. Damn it I am one hell of a doctor if I do say so. But like I was saying; Holden and I were a great match earlier in our relationship. We actually complemented each other that is until a year after we had been dating and I was in my junior year when we broke up for the first time when I heard from my best friend Jacob, a very credible source I might add that he had saw Holden playing tonsil hockey with some chesty red head in the hallway of my dorm and Holden's hands were no ware to be seen but looked like they were inside said red head's shirt.

I, of course, never having had to deal with something like this ever before and still very independent confronted Holden about who the red head was that he was making out with. Holden being true to form told me that it was none of my business who the girl was and that I should stop having my gay friend spy on him and that I should just trust him. Finally after twenty minutes of fighting and being mean to one another Holden told me that yes he was sleeping with my chesty red head roommate Aubrianna Miller. Of all the stupid sluts on campus he had to have sex with my roommate, for real like there wasn't any other slut that was throwing themselves at him, ugh!

Like I said before Holden and I broke up and I transferred to a single room. Shamelessly and I admit on my part the break-up only lasted for three months though and we were back together. I broke down after all the begging, pleading, and the gifts along with Holden demanding that it would never happen again. I'm still not sure if back then that he meant he wouldn't get caught again or that he wouldn't cheat again. Stupid me, I should have just moved on then and there and left him alone, but no I had to be forgiving and take his crazy psycho butt back in to my life. Two months after getting back together Miss Aubri Miller told Holden that she was six months pregnant and that she had decided to keep the child. Go figure, right? That should have told me then and there that I shouldn't be messing with Holden, but no stubborn stupid me being the small town naive girl I was back then at the tender age of nineteen, I swore that I loved him and that he loved me and that he was the one . I was bound and determined to stick by his side, no matter what happened. I mean Holden had promised me that nothing would happen ever again, right. Later we were told that Aubri had a baby girl and had named her Grace Mari Miller-St. James. Holden now sees her every weekend and a month during the summer since he did not want to take Grace from her mother.

Holden had kept his promise to me for a year. Holden having messed around so much in his first year of college was a year behind and was doing his senior year with me. This time I didn't have to have Jacob tell me anything since I had gone to Holden's place because I had left my laptop charger there and I needed it to finish my homework. I figured it would be fine since Holden had told me that he would be studying for his finance class in the library with some male friends and I had a key to the apartment. But instead of walking into an empty apartment I found him studying biology live on the brunette girl from his finance class on his living room floor. Talk about pissed off and depressed at the same time. I almost failed my mid-terms. You guessed it we broke up once again but this time I swore to anyone who would listen that this time would be different. This time was the end of my relationship with Holden St. James. This time was different I swear because the break up only lasted a week and I had him following me to my classes, camping out in front of my dorm room, and showering me with gifts. Yes, I sold out for expensive jewelry. Holden's always been a very smooth talker, trust me he could sell ice to an Eskimo. Holden would quote love poems to me, and he would tell me that he couldn't be the man he wanted to be with me in his life and wished that he could be the man I wanted him to be. I stupidly believed every line he threw my way and took him back even with the criticism of my friends. Once again three months later Holden found out that Shadow Lane was pregnant and yes you heard me correct the woman's name is Shadow, apparently her parents are some kind of hippy. Shadow showed up unannounced at Holden's apartment telling Holden that she loved him and that she wanted to keep the child and be with him. She was hystical and in tears talking about how pissed her parents were at her and that they disowned her because of the pregnancy Shadow wanted the happily ever after with Holden as her husband and being the daddy to their son, of course she had to be having a boy. Holden told Shadow that he was sorry but that he was in love with me and didn't want to marry her but that he would be there for his son just like he was for his daughter. Later we found out that Shadow had indeed had a boy and she named him after his daddy, Holden Eric St. James the second. and like Grace, Holden has him every weekend (the same as when Grace is there) and a month during the summer.

Holden's dad was so pissed off about Holden having another child that he threatened Holden with taking his trust fund away once again. This was news to me I mean the whole taking away Holden's trust fund and when did he get it back. Later I found out that when I had started dating Holden he had actually been broke, he had messed up his freshmen year so bad that his dad had blocked Holden's trust until he got his grades up and was on the better track into a career that was acceptable. Apparently Mr. St. James had decided that I was a good influence on Holden and had let Holden have access to his trust fund but with the news of a second child Mr. St. James was thinking about cutting Holden off for good, not even the news that the second child was a boy would make him reconsider. Of course Janet St. James had blamed me, like I could or would even consider the option of controlling Holden. I'm not his mother or Holden's keeper and at the time I wasn't even Holden's wife or fiancé.

Holden had talked to his dad and had persuaded him to reconsider the money situation. Holden told his dad that his second child was the very last one and that if everything went according to plan and worked out the way that he wanted he was going to ask me to marry him when we graduated. Yes I understand the complete irony that Holden is now a Finance Advisor when he couldn't even keep his trust fund or handle his own money.

Holden and I graduated together, me with a 4.0 GPA and Holden with a 3.5. Holden wanted to get married right away and I wanted to wait but I got out voted. So Holden and I got married a few months after graduating from USC, and then moved to Baltimore so that I could study at John Hopkins and Holden supported me. We moved to New York since Mr. St. James had pulled a few strings and cashed in a few favors and had gotten Holden his dream job on Wall Street. For the first time everything was working for us and our relationship was great. Holden was waiting on his dad to let him know what was happening with the job situation and if he could pull enough strings to get Holden his dream job or not and I did my undergraduate studies at John Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland; Holden was amazing. He got a good job and seemed to enjoy his work and didn't cheat (that I know of) all four years there. Then I did my graduate studies at Bellevue Hospital Center where I was able to get my residency done along with the offer for my dream job. We would fight endlessly about how he wanted me standing beside him to support him silently, since I was not able to be at all the parties that he wanted me to attend. I guess that's when he found the secretary to fill my place and be there for him in more ways than I could. I had come home from working a sixteen hour shift at the hospital to find them in the bed that I had picked out.

When I told Holden that I was leaving and moving out he actually laughed at me.

"Evangeline, babe. You have nowhere to go, and no money. How are you going to leave this life I've provided for you? The answer to that is you aren't, so just shut your mouth and deal with it." Holden told me snidely.

I couldn't even think or speak at that moment when I heard him talk to me like that. But I would no longer share the same room as him and moved all my things in to the guest bedroom because he was right I couldn't afford to move out. And Selena Rodriquez no longer wanted anything to do with him since he had lied to her and told her that he was single which was the best lie I had ever heard and trust me I laughed so hard. Selena decided that she was too young to deal with a married man and his issues with his wife; I mean she was only twenty for God's sake common now, really. Nine months later Selena gave birth to Holden's third child, a baby girl. Selena told Holden that she wanted to give the baby up for adoption since she was so young and still was finishing college and everything. Holden was pissed and didn't want to hear about it and decided to take the baby girl, whom he named Charlotte Raylin St. James, home with him. Selena gave up her rights to her daughter trusting that Holden would take care and raise Charlotte. I think Holden truly believed that this child would make me reconsider my life and become a stay at home mom and the wife he wanted, but that didn't work for him either. Holden got angry when I told him that Charlotte was his child not mine and he needed to take care of everything for her because I would not do it. Then he asked me why I had never gotten pregnant since he had never used a condom with me.

So I enlightened him to the facts that when I had found out that Aubrianna Miller was pregnant I went on the depo shot and had been on it since then. I was not about to bring a child in to this crappy messed up situation of our relationship. Holden was so angry and demanded that I get off birth control that instant. He even went as far as scheduling my doctor's appointment and insisting to the doctor that I get off birth control, you know like he has a choice in the matter of whether I get off the shot or not. I was able to talk to the doctor in private and told him about the situation and my doctor was amazing and lied to Holden that he would take me off the depo shot but he really didn't since I did not want to be taken off it and ultimately it was my choice. Mr. James applauded my decision not to have children yet but Mrs. St. James was irritated that I wouldn't tell my husband that I was on birth control in the first place. Oh well Holden and Mrs. St. James would get over or they wouldn't I really didn't care at that point, because I was not having children with someone who cheated on me all the time and just wanted me to wait on him hand and foot. That would happen over my dead body and since I wasn't going to die anytime soon it just plainly wouldn't happen.

Time to stop; I have to use the bathroom and get a few snacks and a drink for the road. What the hell is this gas station about it so looks like one of those run down gas station from a scary movie when the girl always gets killed. Man, I so should have thought this one though before I stopped at this gas station. Damn, I gotta pee though. Let's hope that this place has a clean bathroom inside the building. I headed inside without a second thought.

"Hi." I said glancing around the store.

"Afternoon." The old man said from behind the counter as he watched me.

"The bathroom?" I asked starting to do the potty dance. Man those last few sodas have gone threw me and I was starting to get into trouble here if I didn't find a bathroom right this second.

"Back that way. Follow the signs." The old man said pointing his finger down a hallway at the back of the small store.

I headed towards the bathrooms knowing that if this small town of Garden Town, Ohio, is anything like Summer Hill, Wisconsin, and then the whole town would know that I was here by the time I was finished in the bathroom. Once I finished I headed out to find my Monster drinks that would get me the rest of the drive to Summer Hill and I can't forget my chocolate and the Cheetos that would keep me from starving completely, sine my stop at Hardee's hadn't done anything for me.

On the road again, I was twenty-two when I married Holden Eric St. James. It was a gorgeous wedding where my Dad walked me down the aisle and reluctantly gave me away. My Mother cried the whole time and my Nana Elaine assured me that she had a getaway driver waiting if I decided I wanted to just walk away. How I wished now more than anything that I would have listened to her; but no my stubborn, self-loathing, self really wanted to marry this three time cheating jerk.

I had let Holden believe that he had laid down the law about the birth control and me not being on it anymore. But I stayed on it, hay don't judge it's my body and I can do what I want with it thank you very much. My career was just starting and I wasn't about to have children at twenty-two. I worked over time all the time to finish my residency and internship so that I could start earning my own money. Things were good between me and Holden for over three years then I started getting the felling that he was straying again. It wasn't until Holden and I had been together for almost seven years when Holden finally admitted that he actually had been sleeping with another female. He tried to pull off the whole 'I have a sex addiction, baby' crap with me and the if you would be around and take care of me I wouldn't have to find someone else to take care of my needs sexually, so this must be your fault'. I decided then and there that this was the very last time that I would allow Holden to put me through the stress of him cheating on me and I was going to ask for a divorce. When I first asked he calmly told me no, and that he would give me one over his dead body. I know I should have gotten one after Char was born but let's face it I stuck with him for the pain. Weird, I know but it's the God's honest truth of the whole situation. I guess looking back I was waiting for him to cheat once again so that I really had a reason to leave for good.

Even though Holden was going on thirty-four years old his parents still had the purse strings on his finances, not mine mind you. But this grown ass man who was claiming that he had a sex addiction didn't and couldn't even control a single dime of his own money and not to mention opps yep once again for the people in the back that didn't hear me the first time Holden is a Finance Advisor on Wall Street. Makes you want to invest you money huh! Holden wanted to enter rehab for his sex addiction and for us to go into counseling and Mr. James talked me into giving it a chance and then see what happens. Holden was in rehab for a week, yes I said it seven days and then he checked himself out telling everyone that he was able to help himself and only he can help him. Holden and I went to one counseling session where he told the woman about everything and I promise you everything came out in that one session, where he sat in a chair on one side of the room and I sat on the other. I told her and Holden agreed that he wouldn't give me a divorce only because he did not ask for one and I did not sign a prenuptial agreement and now was able to take all his money and worldly possessions if I so chose to. Holden and I had been sleeping in separate rooms ever since I found him with Selena and before Charlotte was born and were now rarely talking at this point. Holden was so pissed off for about three weeks after the counseling session that he wouldn't even stay in the same room as me for more than a minute. Then, one day I was in the dining room on my laptop looking for apartments that I could actually afford when he walked in and laid a stack of papers next to me. Holden stood next to me for a minute then walked out without even saying anything to me. They were the divorce papers signed and everything. I was so completely stunned that I couldn't do a thing for about ten seconds and then I got up and took my laptop with me to my lawyer's office. My lawyer, Mr. Eugene Rogers, told me that it was the first deal. Everything I ever wanted but one thing. Holden had wanted me to move out of the state of New York as soon as the divorce was final. I asked Mr. Rogers to revise it so that I could stay in New York where I worked and then the negations began. Three days after Holden sat the divorce papers next to me I moved out and into this really cute, much smaller rent controlled one bedroom apartment that was a block away from Bellevue Hospital Center, I might add.

Now here I am just getting off the interstate and on to the road that will lead me into my one horse hometown, and finally to my destination of my Nana Elaine's house, but it was by my choice and six months after the divorce was finalized thank you very much. This was the longest fourteen hour drive ever in my life and I will be so much happier when I am finally sitting at my Nana's house.

"Hello, Evangeline speaking." I said into my Blackberry.

"Eva, finally are you okay babe?" Jacob's paranoid voice demanded form the other end of the phone.

Jacob Harris, my for mentioned gay best friend was back at my place supervising the moving crew as they loaded up my things that would leave tomorrow to head to Summer Hill, Wisconsin.

"Yeah, perfect. Just taking my time and thinking while I drive. Why, what's up?" I asked as I pulled into the truck stop to fill up the tank on my Cadillac Esclade Hybrid.

"Woman do you realize that it's been nearly nine hours since I last heard from you?" Jacob demanded in my ear.

"No, shit. For real? It's really been that long." I said glancing at my dashboard as I sat in my Esclade while I talked to Jacob before I got out.

"Yes, girl. You had me scared to death here daydreaming of you lying lifeless in a ditch or on the side of the road somewhere stranded."

"Alright, Queen. I'm perfectly fine and almost there. It's a fourteen hour drive." I said sliding out of the Esclade and walking to the gas pump so that I could pay at the pump since I no longer needed anything due to me stopping earlier.

"Girl, do not even start with that Queen shit with me. I'm sitting here working out Dean and my schedules out so that we can come out there for a while once you're finally settled at you Grandma's place."

"Jacob, thanks for everything but really that isn't necessary."

"I am your best friend, or rather one of them. And my boyfriend and I are coming out there sometime to see what kind of civilization your now going to live in."

"Jacob, thanks for everything that you've done for me but that really isn't necessary." I said laughing.

"Oh but girl I already miss you and I wanna see where you'll be living. I mean, come on you actually grew up in the country and I wanna see this little town of yours. We'll be there in a week and you cannot stop me."

"Alright then, Jacob. I'll see you in a week then. Bye love." I said hanging up and starting to pump gas finally and knowing that I wouldn't be able to change his mind in coming out here so soon but hopefully Dean would be able to talk him out of traveling to Summer Hill so soon, one could only hope.

My cell was on its last batter signal and would be dying soon if I didn't find my charger and I so did not have a single clue as to where in my car the charger was or that if I would be able to find the car charger. I thought some more as I headed into my little podunk town. Huh, who knew, I could of swore I wouldn't have a signal here and see I have a better signal here than what I did in the middle of Manhattan, New York. Finally, I was in town. Look it's true about something's in small towns don't really change. There's the Ice Cream Shop that I was taken to by Tyler Hordes on my first date ever when I was fifteen and he was sixteen. Tyler's daddy had gotten him this mustang for his birthday and our date was the first time he had drove it since rebuilding the engine. I know this because it was all Tyler would talk about. Oh man, that little farmer boy had a body on him, it was the main reason I let him talk me into the backseat on the hill even though I shut him down before we went too far of course . I wonder what Mr. Tyler looks like now a day, mental note to look Tyler Hordes up and see if he still has all those farmer's muscles. Oh CRAP! Really? I just got into town and there's a cop on my ass with his lights on. Damn! I pulled to the side of the road in front of an abandoned building that had once been Doctor Jones's offices when I was younger. Was I speeding, what the hell is the speed limit again, or did I do something wrong? I didn't think so but I guess I'd find out soon enough."

"Officer, did I do something….. You!" I demanded as I looked into the deep brown eyes of my ex-boyfriend Derek Schaffer, the first guy that I allowed to talk me into the backseat and didn't shut down in the back of his daddy's Lincoln town car, oh the fun time he and I had.

"Well, well. Mrs. St. James. It's nice to see you in town again. Where's that rich husband of yours." Sheriff Schaffer asked grinning at me.

"You did not just pull me over to ask me that, did you?"

"No ma'am I did not. Did you not see that stop sign back there that you ran right through?"

"What stop? Oh that one sorry but no I didn't notice it there. I was… thinking."

"About old times, huh? So really, where's that fancy husband of yours, I see he's not with you again." Officer Schaffer asked again looking into my Esclade like he really hadn't known that Holden and I were now divorced and that I was moving back into town. But he was still standing there waiting for an answer.

"Well, Officer Derek I don't really see how that should interest you since I only ran a stop sign but since you asked so nicely Holden's not my husband anymore and the last names Hanes. I don't really know or care where Holden is either."

"You just comin' home for a visit with your Grandma?"

"Really, like you don't already know. No, Derek I'm not visiting anyone but you already knew that one didn't you? I'm moving back into town and yes, I will be staying with my Nana."

"Well now, never thought I'd live long enough to see Evangeline Hanes move back into this here town again. You working?"

"Not at the moment?"

"What you looking to do here in town? You know, they are hiring at that new woman's clothing store down the street. My Tori could get you a job there if you want."

"You are still country as hell, Derek. I'm a doctor now though. What happened to Doc Jones? He finally let Mrs. Jones talk him into retiring?"

"No, Eva. Mrs. Emma died of breast cancer about six months ago. Doc retired just two months ago and moved out of that there building about a year ago. I know he's still looking for someone to take over the place and his practice here in town." Derek said as he backed up a little so that I could get of the Esclade.

"Maybe I'll go see him tomorrow and see what he has to say about me maybe taking over his practice and his clients." I said as I leaned against the Esclade to watch Derek.

"That'd be mighty white of you, Evangeline Hanes. Well, I outta get a movin on since I don't want my Tori hearing that you and I are trying to get our romance back. You know you being a divorced woman and back in town and all." Derek said laughing as he turned and headed back to his cruiser.

I laughed as I climbed back in the Esclade with a feeling that this may be a good thing and that God was leading me in the right decision of moving back to my hometown. Off to Grandmother's house I go, laughing I got back on Main Street in a lighter mood.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Finally here I am pulling up to my Nana's house but finding my parents ancient Buick in the drive made me hesitate a little, but just a little. Of course I couldn't just drive away for a while until they left they had to know that I was in town since I was stopped on Main Street and most likely was seen talking to Derek Schaffer. Yes, I did want to see my parents again but just not right now, not while the wounds of my divorce are still fresh. Of course, my Mother would pick at me until I was no longer in a good mood and was lying at her feet bleeding from her digging in to my fresh divorce wounds. All I really wanted was to talk to my Nana for a bit about some small town gossip, eat a home cooked meal and then find my way to a hot shower and then finally sleep for ten days or until nine am tomorrow. Nana would wake me up to get the day started and we would talk about my attendance at church that Sunday and the next Sundays from now on now that I was living under her roof.

This was done because if you lived or stayed under Papa Joe's roof then you were expected to attend church regularly. Not that Nana would actually say the words of telling you that you had to attend church with her. She'd just give you that look that said she was disappointed in you and be on her way. But I mise well get back in the habit of attending since I wasn't planning on going anywhere soon and Pastor Michael Shaw of Nana's church would already know I was moving back to town and would no doubt show up at Nana's house unexpectedly to have a talk with me about my faith. Oh well there really isn't a reason for wasting time sitting here, they had already seen me pull up. I grabbed my overnight bag, purse, and black doctor bag and headed towards the house where a war was most likely going on since my Nana and Mother were not fans of each other's and my Dad was in there all alone trying to play peace maker.

I would unpack the Esclade tomorrow after some rest, and the truck with the big stuff and the rest of my belongings were leaving tomorrow but would not arrive for three days. As I headed towards the front door a flood of memories hit me, things like when I was a little girl about four or five years old and running up the walk to jump in to Papa Joe's arms, or as a teenager walking here to hide out from my parents who no doubt wanted to ground me for dating the bad boy of town, or at the age of twenty-one and finally having talked Holden into coming here to meet my Nana Elaine and Papa Joe for the first time which did not go well. Papa Joe had not like Holden at all mainly because he never showed up at all when he was asked to. And finally at the age of twenty-seven and walking this walkway with a broken heart for the last time after finding Holden and Selena together and all alone for Papa Joe's funeral, the door opened as I reached for the door handle and my Dad's face was there smiling at me.

"Daddy." I said breathing a little better at seeing him.

"Evangeline, darling your finally here." My Dad said watching me.

"Yes."

"Baby girl, I'm so glad to see you here once again."

"You too, Daddy." I said smiling and meaning what I said.

I was happy to see him once again. My Dad is an amazing guy and I should have trusted his judgment of Holden when he told me that Holden would hurt me. But I am too much like him to have listened to him back then, guess I just had to go through all the pain. I hadn't left Summer Hill to get away from him or Nana Elaine. My Mother and Grandmother Smith had been the ones to drive me crazy with their whole "You are a beautiful girl and will be able to marry a rich man. He'll take good care of a beautiful woman like you. You do not need to have a career and should aim for finding that rich man that will buy you anything and everything." When all I wanted was to have a career as a doctor.

I followed my Dad into the house knowing that Nana and my Mother were now going to play nice and pretend that they actually did like each other. The relationship between wife and mother-in-law is something of an interesting relationship. My Mother having believed that she settled for a man of having to work for his wealth, and my Nana having believed that my Dad had settled for marrying a money hungry woman who did not want to work. This dynamic causes world war three all the time between the two women. My relationship with Holden's mother Janet was nothing more than mere pleasantries to each other. Janet Carol St. James at having being a Daughter of the American Revolution or better known as the DAR when younger and now a member of the DAR is too polite to actually take a dislike to anyone or so I've been told by her many times.

"Nana Laine." I said as I entered the living room and crossed to where she sat in her favorite Queen Ann chair that Papa Joe had bought her.

"My Eva darling. You're finally home to us." Nana said arms spread out for a hug.

"Mother." I said standing and looking across the room at her after my hug to Nana. I knew that she would not welcome any hug from me so I didn't even try for one. To say that my mother is not like other mother's is an understatement completely.

Like I was saying before the dynamic between wife and mother-in –law is a funny thing. Normally the two either hate each other or they like each other more than the son/husband and then there's that middle ground of like and dislike that no one actually talks about. I wonder why? Janet and I were in the middle ground of not liking each other but not really liking each other either. Janet is way too dignified to actually hate me for marrying her son and she doesn't have the heart to actually like me either would have to say go freaking figure. But my Mother and Nana hate each other dignified or not they were not on the road to being in the middle ground any time in the next century.

"How about we go out for some fish fry tonight at Diana's, Eva? You've got to be hungry, right? It's Friday and you know Diana's always has the best fish in town." My Dad, Davis Joe Hanes, said eagerly watching me all the while trying to keep the peace between his wife and his mother, normal Dad behavior.

"Do not treat her like a child Davis. She made a great decision to marry Holden and now she's almost thirty, divorced and without any children. Now she has to start all over and dating again." My Mother, Ellie May Smith-Hanes, demanded eying me from her perch across the room in the big bay window that faced the front of the house.

"Anything's fine with me, Dad. I still need to get the rest of my stuff from my vehicle but I think I'll do it tomorrow once I've rested. How long have the two of you been here?" I asked choosing to ignore my mother's sunny disposition.

"We've been here waiting on you for hours now. Really Evangeline you were raised better, you know to call when you're going to be late." My Mother demanded from her perch eying me carefully. Like I had any control on the fourteen hour drive it takes to get from Manhattan to Summer Hill, Wisconsin.

I was actually waiting on the critism of my clothing; I was wearing a pair of DvB jean capris, with a blue lace tank that I had gotten from Victoria's Secret with a pair of blue flip-flops, or the critism of my hair, which was now hanging down to the middle of my back in long light brown curls, my car, which as we already know I'm driving a Cadillac Esclade Hybrid, or anything really but what I got was nothing. Nothing but the earlier comment on Holden and the divorce, which had me thrown a little but now it looked like it would be the last comment she was going to make on the subject.

"I would have called if I had known ya'll were going to be here when I arrived and when I would arrive. It's kind of hard to tell someone when I'm going to arrive on a fourteen hour drive." I said finally deciding to sit on the small foot stool next to Nana's chair.

"Really Evangeline, where else would your father and I be on the day that you were moving into your grandmother's house. Evangeline, you should have known better, and you have that, that cellular phone do you not. You know how to use it right; you could have called from the road." My Mother demanded once again in that tone that sounded like she was going to say more in her condescending way but once again I got nothing.

"I apologize, Mother. I should have known better and called you about the fourteen hour drive. You know where I had time to think and evaluate my life and the decisions that I've made so far." I said watching her. Gesh, woman give it a rest already.

I could visibly see my Nana biting her tongue and it was so totally about her control and breaking its leash on her.

"Eva darling, would you mind getting me some tea please?" Nana asked watching my mother with pure hatred in her eyes. If looks could kill, I tell you. That was it her control had snapped and she was about to unleash on my Mother in what would be known as World War Three and all the text books would write about it.

Fully understanding the cue I got up and headed towards the kitchen knowing that as soon as I was out of ear shot that they would start arguing but the time away was perfect since I wanted to make a call to Jacob and Amelia to let them know I had arrived safe and sound. But as soon as I entered the kitchen the two of them started in on each other. Oh God, at least when I was younger they at least waited from me to be out of ear shot. I pulled my blackberry out of my pocket and headed to the backyard.

Jacob Harris and Amelia Scott were the only town people who had fully supported me when I had finally decided to divorce Holden, well beside Nana but Nana had never liked Holden anyway. Jacob and Amelia supported my decision mainly because neither of them had liked how Holden had treated me but neither did I and we all survived partly. As I dialed Amelia, I made a mental note to call my cell company about changing my address and the number to a local one which in turn would mean that I may lose my number. I heard Holden's name a couple of times from my Mother's raised voice. So I walked out into the backyard farther and listened to the caller tune of Pain by Three Days Grace while waiting for Am to finally pick up.

"OH God! Eva, finally. I've been dying here waiting on you to call me. Where are you at? Please tell me that you're not in a ditch somewhere." Am demanded in my ear.

"The hometown, finally. My parents are here too. They've been waiting for me to arrive." I said glancing around the backyard that hasn't changed in years.

"Oh what fun for you? How's the warm welcome going for you?" Amelia asked laughing since she had heard all my stories about my mother and Nana.

"Oh you know. Just great, I'm in the backyard on the phone with you while Nana and Mother are waging world war three in the house and my Dad's trying to act as referee on the subject of whether I should have divorced Holden or should crawl back to him begging him to take me back. But Nana still calls him a P.O.S. and I would have to agree with her.

"That's priceless. You should record it and put it on YouTube." Amelia said cracking up laughing.

That's my friend Amelia Scott, the nurse. I'm sorry; she'd have my head if she heard that. Amelia is the head nurse at Bellevue Hospital Center and one of the first to actually talk to me when I started my internship and were the best of friends by the time I started my residency. Amelia is funny, caring, smart, hard-headed, impatient, sarcastic, loving and has a potty mouth that can make a sailor blush. She's great and always hated Holden about as much if not more than Holden hated her.

As the product of a one night stand of a coke headed prostitute mother and a drug dealing pimp father Amelia spent the majority of her childhood with foster parents, Mr. and Mrs. Scott. They adopted Amelia when she was six years old. David Scott is an amazing well known heart surgeon and Veronica Scott is an Antique shop owner. They are an amazing couple that make you believe in love and a wonderful happier ever after kinda like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty or some other Disney movie with a happy ever after. But most importantly the love of Amelia so much. But this is not Amelia's story, it's mine. So I better get back to talking about me.

"I am so there in two months and yes Jacob and Dean will come with me. You and I both know Dean and I won't be able to keep Jacob away much longer than that. He's already like a lost puppy now without you. But for you my dear Eva, I'll stall him."

"Thanks Am. I better get back in there and deal with the chaos that is my family. Talk to you soon. Tell Jacob I'm here, I'm safe and I'll call him later. I'll text you later too with an update."

"Sure will. Bye girl. Have a little fun. You deserve it." Amelia said just before hanging up laughing.

"So you've finally come home." A familiar male voice demanded from behind me and even as I spun around he was not on my mental list of people I would have expected on my first day back or hell even my first month back to town.

"Landon Canes." I whispered hoping that I was seeing things or a memory from the past.

"All grown up and in the flesh." Landon said tipping his Brewers baseball cap in my direction, in that country boy, down home way.

"So I see. And what are you doing here?" I asked watching him while in shock still.

The last time I saw Landon Michael Canes was as he drove away from me while I cried my heart out on a dirt road waiting from him to turn around and come back to me but he never did. Landon and I started dating when I was a freshmen and he was a junior. We dated all four years I was in high school on and off, and here he was yelling at me the day before I was to leave for the west coast to go to college. He was mad that I was leaving him here so he decided to leave to find himself, or so he told me not like he couldn't just go with me, for real. His words not mine. I had been in love with him and he just told me he was leaving that night and that I should and would move on with my life without him. And now, here he is standing in my Nana's backyard talking to me. He's sitting on that damn swing where he first told me that he was in love with me and kissed me for the first time. Here he is looking so… just looking all… damn he's looking so freaking good and looking scrubby and …oh crap he looks amazing in his dusty work boots, dirty torn well-fitting jeans and a dirty button down plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows you know the look of hard working country boy. His shaggy black hair was long enough to curl over his collar as his liquid brown eyes watching me check him out.

"I'm here in town because I live here but the back yard of your grandma's house is because she informed me you'd be arriving today. And thanks to me and a few of my guys you have a very nice bathroom to call all your own along with a massive closet." Landon said with that look that always got me into trouble when he aimed it my way. Huh, only Nana would tell this gorgeous ex of mine when I was supposed to be back in town.

"So you came to see me. Why?"

"Actually, I came to talk to you. Congrats on the divorce by the way, I hear your ex was truly a piece of… work. Let's go with that one."

"Who told you?" I asked still standing rooted to where I was and watching him and calling Holden "a piece of work"; well that's just an understatement of the year really.

"You're Nana. You know you're all she ever talks about. Her amazing, talented, smart granddaughter that's a doctor who unfortunately married the scum of the earth. But it's okay now since she finally came to her senses and divorced that meat head." Landon said still watching me but not moving.

"How'd you get back here?" I asked glancing around.

"When I pulled up I heard your Mom and Nana yelling so I guessed that they had sent you outside like they had when you were younger and walked back here to look for you. You don't look at all happy to see me, Evangeline."

"I what, was supposed to jump into your arms screaming or something? I didn't hear you walk back here." Really Landon come on now you broke my heart into tiny pieces. I mean truly I married the next man I dated after Landon. Man, I sure took the break up with Landon badly come to think of it.

"I'm sure you sounded like you were in an important conversation with…" Landon said letting the sentence drop and I'm guessing that he wanted me to finish it for him but I wasn't about to do that.

"Why is Nana talking to you about me coming home? When did you move back here?" I asked eyeing him as I clutched my blackberry in hand.

"Your Nana told me because I asked about you but she was telling everyone and anyone that would stand still long enough to listen that you were moving back. Come over here and have a seat next to me so we can talk better." Landon said patting the seat next to him on the swing but I wasn't going to fall into that trap ever again. That swing did bad things for Landon and I.

"No. No, thank you I mean. I'll pass; I should be getting back inside anyway. It was… nice to see you once again Landon." I said taking small careful steps backwards trying to escape.

"I'll go with you." Landon said standing and bringing me to a complete stop and boy was he fast.

"Whoa! What, why would you want to do something like that?" I asked throwing up my hands like I was going to ward him off that way.

Landon had surly filled out everywhere since the last time that I saw him just before I turned eighteen, okay you did the math I was young for my class shut it. He was skinny then with just a little meat on him from all that work on the farms while I was in high school. Landon is three years older than me and when we had that huge fight that changed my life Landon was twenty and too old for me by my parents standards. But now I could tell as he walked towards me that he had muscles in places I promise you were never there before and should always exist on a bad boy. It should be like a rule or something.

"Why, well that's easy I was invited for diner." Landon said watching me with a smile in his eyes.

"By who?" I asked confused that this was happening, when I was dating Landon my family didn't like him. All of them thought he was bad for me and now they willingly wanted him to have dinner with us. Well, we know my mother for sure didn't invite Landon so that left the option of Dad or Nana.

"By me, and you're being rude. Now Eva let the young man inside." My Dad said from inside the doorway to the kitchen.

"Why? I mean. No, I mean why would you do that?" I asked turning to face my Dad and trying to not whine like the five year old I felt like.

"Because Landon's been a big help to your Nana. It's the least that I and you can do. Let's head to the diner for some of that great fish. Oh and Eva please be nice." My Dad demanded before turning to head farther into the house. Once he was out of ear shot I turned on Landon not at all sure if I was mad that my Dad had invited Landon or mad at Landon for accepting. Did neither of them remember that Landon was the one who broke up with me and broke my heart at the same time?

"You should make an excuse and leave." I muttered towards the man that was currently standing behind me and so close that I could have kissed him if I wanted, which I didn't…. Oh hell I did but I wasn't going to.

"And why would I do something rude like that to Mrs. Elaine?" Landon asked with that cute but annoying half smile that he always did when he wanted something more from me, but all he did was walk around me into the house while I was left there wishing I could just hit something or someone.

"Because you don't really belong with my family anymore." I demanded not giving a shit if I sounded rude anymore.

"You're the only one who thinks that anymore. And you'll agree with them soon though, plus there's the fact that we have some things to talk about."

"No. No Landon we do not have anything to talk about." I said turning away from him and ending our hushed conversation in the kitchen as I headed to the living room. I'm sure I wouldn't like anything that he had to say to me. True I was giving up but I no longer wanted to hear him speak.

"Eva, darling. I see you found Landon." Nana said glancing behind me sweetly towards Landon with a huge smile on her face.

"Unfortunately, alright everyone, let's go eat." I muttered reasoned to Landon going with us, but still not liking it one single bit.

"Mrs. Elaine, I must say you look amazing today. You ready to eat? Mrs. Ellie May." Landon said politely glancing at my mother.

"Oh honey, let's go get you some food. We can take my car. You, Eva and me. Davis, you take your wife with you in your car."" Nana said as if what she says is final and in most cases it normally is.

"Landon can take is own truck, Nana. Or I can ride with my parents." I said glaring at Landon. I think everyone knew that I didn't want to ride with Landon.

"Oh honey. Don't be silly. Landon can ride with us, let's go before the crowd gets there and we can't get a seat." Nana said climbing into her ancient Oldsmobile.

"Here you go, Evangeline." Landon said as he held open the passenger door for me.

As I climbed in I sent up a silent prayer.

Lord, please help me to survive this man's charm once again and this dinner with my parents. Amen


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

We arrived at the diner just in time to get a booth seat before the crowd showed up for the Friday Fish Fry. It seemed like the whole town was in there. Diana Canes, the owner and often the cook came over to our table and welcomed me back to town and hugged me, her words not mine. Like she hadn't known the exact moment I was back in town. Diana is Landon's Aunt, his mother's sister, younger I believe. Miss Canes moved to town with Landon and his two younger siblings after their parents died in a car accident when Landon was four. Lucas Canes is now the town mechanic now and Lily Canes is a chef at a restaurant in Lodgers Town, from what Nana tells me, I kinda wondered why she left the great job in New York. Surprisingly enough everyone was okay with each other at diner. Okay, fine there was a little spat between my mother and Nana when we arrived but they both settled down and started acting normal very quickly. Being in a public setting will do that, I guess.

My Nana had always liked Landon even though the town liked him as the town trouble maker. I really should have seen this one coming a mile away but how in all things holey was I to know Landon was back in town. That was something Nana never said to me once in all our conversations. And really the last time I had heard anything regarding Landon Canes was that he was somewhere in Montana playing ranch hand to some rich widow.

All the way home Landon and Nana were laughing and talking about how he and I used to hang out, date and all the trouble we got into. I however wasn't really amused by the conversation though.

"Landon, dear you remember when Sheriff Peterson caught the two of you skinny dipping in the public pool. My poor Eva was so embarrassed that she got caught she couldn't even speak to tell that old prude her name." Nana said laughing as Landon pulled into the driveway with me in the backseat. I had won that argument with Nana that I did not want to be in the passenger seat while she let Landon drive her car

"Yes, ma'am. That old man couldn't even look at Eva while he was questioning us about what her parents would say about her swimming naked the "that Canes" boy." Landon said winking at me in the review mirror.

"Oh Evangeline, did you want some help to bring your stuff in from your car?" Nana asked glancing at my Esclade parked in front of Landon's truck at the curb.

"No, that's alright. I'll do it tomorrow. I have everything I need for tonight in the house." I said glancing at Landon.

"Landon can help you. He's here now." Nana said glancing in my direction as she walked to the front door.

"Nana, that's okay. Landon probably had things that he'd rather do with is Friday night anyway." I said glancing back towards Landon hoping he's back out like a gentle man.

"Nope, I'm free all night long to help you out Evangeline. If that's what you want to do." Landon said walking beside me.

"Anyway, all I want is a hot bath and a bed. Long drive an all, remember." I said as Nana unlocked the front door.

"Tomorrow then, I'll come by to help you carry everything in." Landon said with that charming troublemaker smile but trying to look harmless with his hands in his pockets.

"Oh Landon, dear that would be great. You're such a good young man." Nana said heading inside like I didn't know that look from her.

"Nana really, I don't have that much stuff I can carry it all in myself." I said but Nana was already out of earshot and I had been left alone with Landon on the front porch like we were on a date or something.

"You know, Eva. It's no problem for me to help you carry a few boxes." Landon said standing on the porch beside me.

"Landon, don't you have somewhere else to be other than here bugging me." I demanded crossing my arms under my chest.

"No, actually my schedule's clear so that I can welcome you home correctly." Landon said flashing that charming smile of his bordered on devilish and had me wondering what he had meant by that comment.

"Yeah, well thanks. Now go away." I said then turning and heading inside to what would be my safe haven from Landon Canes.

"New York sure has changed you a lot. And you know you'll have to talk to me sooner or later. We have things to say to each other, both of us. Plus there's the fact that this is a small town."

"Landon. There may be things you need to say to me but as of right now I do not want to hear anything you have to say."

"Alright I'll help you tomorrow with your things. You'll get three days from me but after that. I can wait three days but I won't wait longer than that and then you'll listen to what I have to say to you. You won't avoid me any longer than three days."

"Yeah, great, fine. Whatever three days." I said as I shut the door in his face.

Okay so I know a few thing as fact; One, I do not believe that there is anything Landon has or needs to say that I actually want to hear; Two, he's right this is a small town and I will not be able to avoid him for long. I decided not to think about Landon Michael Canes and grabbed my overnight bag from the floor in the hall where I had left it and headed upstairs to where my bedroom would be for a supper hot bath. Any thinking would have to wait until after eight hours of sleep.

The room Nana had given me was hers and my Papa Joe's when I was young. But she had it converted into a room that could rival that of any fancy expensive hotel suite. Nana was doing all she could to make me feel at home and want to stay in town. I took my long hot bubble bath, so I indulged myself a little whatever. But an hour later I felt like me again and not like I had traveled in a car on a fourteen hour drive, but I was still very tired. In a tank and shorts I found my charger and plugged my very dead blackberry in then climbed under the covers that smelt like Gain, on the Queen sized four poster bed that Papa Joe made as a wedding present to my Nana. Things were bound to look so much clearer in the morning, positive thinking. I hope to all things holy please let everything look and feel so much better.

"Evangeline Kay that damn thing had been going off non-stop for the last hour. Lord knows how you can sleep with all that noise going off right next to your head." Nana demanded shaking me awake.

Oh God, really it's that time already no it; can't be. I feel like I just laid down but my clock says its 9:30am. Seriously, fifteen hours of sleep. Well, I had been living on much less sleep in the last eight years.

"I'll make some coffee and breakfast. You answer that thing and head on down. You hear." Nana demanded turning and heading down the stairs as I grabbed my blackberry to make that damn thing stop playing the Nicki Minaj's Super Bass. I was going to have the song in my head all day, oh well as long as I didn't start dancing.

Five missed calls, eight missed text messages and ten new emails. One from Holden, one I didn't know, one from Amelia, and the rest were from Jacob.

Evangeline hope you made the drive safely to your grandmother's house. Reply if you want I understand if you don't. Holden James

Really now he wants to act like he cares and that my safety matters to him. Enough already, I sighed as I deleted the message.

Eva, are you ok? Am

E, r u sleeping? Jacob

Answer the phone Jacob

I'm calling you now Jacob

Holden called me Jacob

Wake up already Jacob

I'm on my way, Good morning 608-555-7568

Jacob is my very gay best friend was beginning to get a little needy. I'll call him then head down for that coffee and ask Nana if she know whose number is 608-555-7568.

"Evangeline Kay Hanes are you okay?" Jacob's voice demanded in my ear after the second ring. He must have been waiting for my call.

"Jacob, love you're being paranoid and a touch needy." I said smiling as I lounged in my bed.

"Girl, you are so not funny. I couldn't get ahold of you and then Holden called me talking about how he was going to see you. Why didn't you answer the damn phone?" Jacob demanded trying to sound stern but I knew he was smiling.

"Dead battery while I went out to dinner with the family."

"Amelia called me and she said you went to dinner with your parents. How much fun was that?"

"None at all. My Dad and Nana invited my ex Landon Canes along. You know the one before Holden."

"Oh. He broke your heart. Tell me about him. I mean, it tell me about it, the dinner."

"No, just woke up. I want coffee."

"Fine then, okay. Call me later and tell me more about this Landon guy."

"Don't you mean call and tell you how the dinner went with my parents. How's Dean doing?" I said smiling thinking about Jacob's current live-in very British boyfriend.

"I meant what I said. Dean's great and he's at work already, my busy little bee. I'm meeting his parents this weekend, their flying in."

"That's great Jacob. They'll love you, and remember to have fun."

"Thanks, I will. Talk to you later after your coffee."

"Yep." I said hanging up knowing that he'd call Dean and let him know all was right with the world again now that he had spoken to me. Me on the other hand climbed out of bed and headed down stairs while I quickly put my hair up in a rough pony tail. Still in my tank, no bra, and very short booty shorts with no panties in search of coffee and food. Nana wouldn't care much what I wore or looked like anyway. Boy was I so not awake enough for what I found in the kitchen instead. Otherwise, I clearly would have remembered that Landon was coming over to help me and that it was nine am and that the majority of the damn town had been awake since about five am at the least.

"Nana? Nana? Is the coffee ready? Trust me when I tell you I'm a lot like Papa Joe was when I say I need coffee to be nice in the morning so don't get mad until after the first cup okay." I said from the living room as I headed towards the kitchen.

I was halfway inside the kitchen before it finally registered that Landon was standing before the stove drinking a glass of orange juice.

"Coffee just finished. You still drink yours with a little cream and a lot of sugar right?"

Landon leaned against the counter in nearly the same button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and jeans that fit great on his body and those dusty work boots. He turned around and missed my second look the first was shook and the second hatred that he was in my kitchen. While I was walking around in booty shorts and a tank that left little to the imagination. But then he turned around and saw the third look of question of why he was standing in Nana's kitchen handing me a cup of coffee.

"Cream and six sugars?"

"Why are you here? No, I mean thanks why are you here, Landon." I asked taking the offered up and deciding I didn't really care how I looked, I had just woken up and I didn't really care if he was looking I have an amazing body, trust me I work hard for it.

"Garbage disposal's clogged and I told you I'd help you unload your car. Drink up, I'll make you breakfast."

"Where's Nana? Why are you making me breakfast?" I asked glancing around trying to find her like she was going to jump out and scream boo and I wanted to be ready.

"Katilyn Sanders called. Her ex-husband showed up last night. Drunk and high on something, or another Kati said he broke the restraining order along with a few of her bones. Your Nana's there watching her three kids for her while Sheriff Derek takes Kati to the hospital to get fixed up." Landon answered sounding calm but the set of his shoulders and the fact that he wasn't looking at me when talking, said there was more going on than he was saying. I have known Landon since he moved into town and started dating him when I by the time I was sixteen, I knew this guy's angry tone and a lot more about him and remembered everything.

"You know I can make my own breakfast if you have somewhere else you'd rather be, like finding Katilyn's ex-husband and beating the crap out of him." I said watching Landon's back as he moved around the room.

"Evangeline, PLEASE! Just accept the help, say thank you and leave it at that. I'm not in the mood to debate with you."

"Landon." I said softly wanting to comfort him and blamed my doctor sense for it.

"Evangeline, please now is not the time to push me. I have learned some self-control over my temper but right now is not the time to test my leash on it okay?"

"Okay fine. Katilyn Sanders, that wouldn't be from school, my class right?"

"Yes. She married this scumbag named Daniel Towling right out of high school. Katilyn finally got her divorce and moved back here almost eight months ago with her three children. Kati has three boys Jackson age eight, Dallas age six, and Angel age four. Well actually, they like to be called Jack, Ray and Sean. Danny boy liked to drink way too much and use coke then he'd use Kati as a fucking punching bag." Landon said through clenched teeth.

I was a little confused by Landon's mood. No matter what Landon would never touch a woman in anger but under it there was something I couldn't out my finger on.

"He followed her here?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. Daniel is a true piece of work. He's been hitting her since an hour after they were married. He'll be going to prison for a really long time now. They picked him up at Red's bar about five minutes away from Kati's house and your Gran left about ten minutes ago to head to Kati's place.

"You'd rather beat the shit out of him?"

"Yeah I would." Landon sighed as he set my breakfast in front of me then turned to get himself some more juice.

"You always did like fighting."

"Yes, I have."

"So… the garbage disposal huh?" I asked watching Landon as I pushed my omelet around on my plate.

"You're not eating Eva. You afraid of my cooking?"

"Honestly, yeah I am. A little, I remember that Lily was the cook and you were not. Never knew that you actually knew how to." I said still pushing the omelet around the plate.

"Always knew how to from my Aunt Diana but learned a few more things throughout the years as I traveled. Eat up Evangeline. Then we'll unload your car."

"Okay." I agreed and honestly the omelet was pretty good.

With the mood passed from Landon I ate and actually found that Landon did know a few things about cooking. I ate in silence with Landon across the room like he was afraid to be close to me half naked. Of course I would of said something if he had sat down. Landon stood there drinking his coffee with his thoughts to himself. I went to get a sweatshirt and grabbed a pair of jogging shoes and my car keys then headed to the car with Landon following me.

"Wow, you really don't have a lot in here?" Landon said laughing at the packed Esclade.

"Whatever. It didn't seem like a lot when I packed it. Plus mores leaving tomorrow and should be here in four days."

"Gee now Eva, I don't believe you left with this much stuff." Landon said grabbing the first of the boxes and heading towards the house.

An hour later we were each bringing the last of the stuff into my bedroom.

"Just set everything down and I'll unpack it later." I said lying down on the floor out of breath. It was more exercise than I had had in years and I thought I was in good shape.

"What do you plan on doing now that you're here?"

"Not real sure. I know that my license is valid here and Derek said that the old doctor office was free and that Doc Jones retired last year or so."

"Yeah, Doc said that he wanted to enjoy his grandchildren and wife before he died. You're thinking about opening up here?"

"Maybe, it would be a major change in practice for me. In New York I was mostly in the E.R. I think this move was what I needed though. You know, change of peace and all. I don't really know how to do much of anything else. Being a doctor's all I ever wanted to do."

"I remember."

"Landon."

"Look Eva. There are things I want to explain and say to you but I told you last night that I'd give you three days to settle. I'll honor that but just know I'm not going anywhere. We will talk sooner or later, the choice is yours. You'll find me or I'll find you but either way we will talk everything out. I'm willing to wait for now." Landon said looking me straight in the eyes.

"Okay, well thanks for the help." I said as my cell rang the song "Only Prettier" by Miranda Lambert letting me know that Amelia was calling me.

"You should get that. I know the way out." Landon said turning away.

"Hay Am, what's up?" I said answering the phone but watching Landon leave.

"Hay you okay? So Charlie and I broke up. I need a change. What do you think about me moving to your town?"

"What? Amelia, what the hell happened?"

"Stupid crap really. He thought I was cheating on him and he had me followed. I, of course found out. We got into a blow out of a fight and split up. I just need to change things in my life. So what do you say?"

"About?" I asked not sure if I actually knew what she was asking me.

"About me moving to Summer Hill with you. I could finally open up that country shop I've always wanted." Amelia said sounding excited.

"I think that moving her here maybe moving a little fast. Ya'll just broke up. You do have a master's in business. You can do anything you put your mind to."

"You're right I can do anything I put my mind to. This company doesn't need me here anyway. I want to do something for myself that I will enjoy. Charles and I have been fighting for a long while and the break-up has been coming. We just finally made it official. You think your Grandma would let me stay at her house for two weeks until I get myself a place of my own."

"Um… Don't know really for sure and she's not here right now to ask though. A little town problem."

"You sound weird. Everything okay with you, Eva."

"Yes, no, maybe, shit. I don't know Amelia. My ex from high school was here."

"Oh really."

"Yeah. You remember me telling you about Landon Canes? Yeah, well he went to dinner with me and the family last night, my dad and Nana invited him along. And today he helped me move the stuff from my car to my room. Landon keeps saying there are things he wants to talk to me about and explain to me. He's given me three days to settle before he corners me into listening."

"Cryptic and weird he give you any clue as to what it's about? Wait Landon Canes isn't he the one that left you broken hearted just before you graduated high school and who you thought you saw in New York a couple times?"

"That's the one."

"How's he looking now a day?"

"Good God Amelia! You just broke up with Charlie."

"That damn good, huh? And really when a man looks good who cares if I just broke up with Charlie."

"No, he looks… Landon looks mostly the same, older he has more self-control then I remember him having but the same mostly."

"I hate, how men are able to look the same as they get older it's like they know the secret to youth or something." Amelia demanded making me laugh as only Amelia could.

I talked to Amelia for a few more minutes. After giving her the directions to Nana's house once in Summer Hill. We hung up and I headed into the shower to get ready for the day that was almost over… and not sure what I'm gonna do about Landon just yet.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

After my twenty minute shower and the fifteen minutes I took to figure out what to wear and finally decide on my favorite pair of Dereon jeans, the matching Dereon yellow tee, and a pair of yellow coark heels. In an outfit that Beyoncé herself would wear. I did my makeup and hair, deciding that I would wear my hair down and maybe get it cut since it now hung almost to my butt. I would go find Doc Jones and see about buying his old offices and see if he could tell me how to start setting things up for opening my own offices here in town. I knew I would get a lot of traffic since I grew up here, I mean everyone would want to check me out you know see how I was doing and how good I was. You know that, entire small town she came back from that fancy education. Then there's the fact that the nearest doctor is forty-five minutes away either way. I was heading downstairs again to head over to Doc Jones place when my cell went off again.

"Hay, Nana."

"Evangeline honey, are you busy?" Nana asked sounding a little frantic.

"No, not really Nana, are you alright? Is everything okay with Kati's kids?"

"Me, I'm perfect honey don't you worry about me dear. It's Jack, I think there's something wrong with him. Can you come take a look for me please?"

"Sure, what's the address?" I asked no question on Nana's instincts.

I had entered the address into the GPS on my phone, it was one of the newer developments that I didn't know very well but I was headed there and would be there with in two minutes. Jack, I remembered from Landon talking was eight years old, and the oldest of Katilyn's children. Nana had said that Kati was on her way home from Lodgers Town, the nearest to Summer Hill with a hospital, but even Lodgers Town was a good half hour away and now I was the nearest doctor. Nana sounded on the brink of hysteria when she called me, I doubt that she would have made it to Lodgers Town with three children. Nana said that she watches Kati's children while Kati's at work and as far as she's known Jack he's always been in really good health. I arrived at the apartment within a minute of the phone call and faster than the GPS said.

"Nana, what's going on?" I asked as she opened the door for me.

"Evangeline darling I'm not real sure. The poor child started complaining of a stomach ache and with the ten minutes he started puking. The boy looks so very pale. Now Jack he's a handful, always on the move, a very active kid like you were when you were young, non-stop moving and talking. But now the poor child will not do a thing. He does not want to eat and he always wants to eat and he will not drink a single thing. He's been lying on the couch not moving. He has a temperature of 101. When I talked to Kati she said this was new and he was fine when she left." Nana said leading me into the small living room where I assumed Jack was.

"Alright Nana calm down I'll take a look. Don't worry okay." I said heading towards the mop of coal black curly hair on the couch my black bag in hand.

"Who are you?" Jack asked in a small voice eyeing me as I sat beside him.

"My name is Doctor Evangeline Hanes. My Nana Elaine says that you do not feel good." I said watching him. Nana was right he did look sick.

"My belly button hurts a lot and I puked a lot." Jack said still watching me as he pointed to his stomach.

"That's bad. I hate being sick. Can I take a look and see if I can make it better?"

"Nana Laine said you'd make me feel better." Jack whispered watching me with these eyes that felt like I knew them from somewhere.

"She likes to brag about me a lot. I bet she does about you too."

"Nana Laine's really nice. She makes me cookies and calls me a handful but laughs. I like her laugh."

"Me too. Jack, can I look at your belly?"

"Sure." Jack said quietly pulling up his batman shirt for me.

"Thanks. Jack what do you like to do for fun?"

"Lots of things. My mom says that I can play soccer this year." Jack said just before he started screaming from pressing on his stomach.

"You hurt me!" Jack screamed at me and glared at me looking quite pissed off.

"Jack I'm sorry but now I know what's wrong. I even know how to fix it."

"Okay are you sure. Is it going to hurt?" Jack asked looking worried.

"Positive. Well, just a little you hang out here. I'm gonna talk to Nana for a second." I said standing and meeting Nana at the doorway.

"Eva it's just a stomach bug. Right, I'm being a paranoid old lady?"

"Nana, how close is Kati to getting home?"

"She just called and said she was leaving in five minutes."

"Call her and tell her to stay there and meet me at the emergency room. I'm taking Jack there." I said pulling my cell out to call the hospital to let them know I was on the way with a child.

The call to the hospital in Lodgers Town took a few minutes and then it took me ten to get Jack settled in the back of the Esclade with a bag so he wouldn't puke all over the place back there on the way mainly because that would be really hard for me to have to clean for me being a doctor I didn't do puke all that well. Nana gave me Kati's cell number so I could call her. I made the call to Kati halfway there and told her what I could without alarming Jack. Jack told me about his classes and how he wants to play soccer and how his younger brother's sometimes get on his nerves and talked all the time until we got to the hospital.

"Miss Eva, will you stay with me?" Jack whispered in my ear as I carried him inside the ER to the waiting Doctor.

"If that's what you want? Hello." I said looking at the older doctor in front of me.

"Doctor Evangeline Hanes?"

"Yes and you are?" I asked the short bald man.

"Doctor Rupert, are you sure that it's his appendix?" Doctor Rupert asked watching me.

"From my exam I'm positive but you can do a CT Scan if you want to be sure for yourself."

"Evangeline, Jackson there you are. Are you okay?" Katilyn asked ignoring Doctor Rupert and kissing Jack.

Katilyn Sanders-Towling had not changed at all since I last saw her almost eight years ago. More scared and jumpy and all in the eyes but physically the same.

"Mommy, my belly button hurts." Jackson said clinging to me.

"I have it set up follow me please. You're the mother right?" Doctor Rupert asked walking next to Kati.

"Yes, Katilyn Sanders, this is my son Jackson Michael Sanders. Is he going to be alright?" Kati asked watching the doctor as she clung to Jack's hand.

"And you know Doctor Hanes?" Doctor Rupert asked.

"Yes and I trust her." Kati said as she took my hand while the CT Scan did its job.

"You know that Doctor Hanes believes that your son has appendicitis. And from this scan I would have to agree with her call. Good job Doctor. We have to do the surgery now before it ruptures. There are a few forms to fill out Miss Sanders. Doctor Hanes have you ever done one of these?" Doctor Rupert said watching me.

"Yes a few times in New York. But in this case I'd rather watch and be there for Jack if that's okay." I said glancing towards Jack who was watching me.

"Yes, that's fine. I'll get the child ready." Doctor Rupert said then turned to leave.

"Eva, what's going on?" Kati asked pleading as she turned to look at me.

"Kati, Jack has appendicitis and he has to have surgery. It's a very simple very fast procedure. You wait here with the sheriff and fill everything out. I'm going along with Jack. I'll take care of him I promise." I said then turned to Sheriff Derek standing beside Kati.

"Doctor Hanes." Sheriff Derek said with the slight nod in my direction.

"Please stay with her Sheriff?"

"Promise." Derek said taking Kati's hand from mine so that I could follow Jackson.

"Thank you." I said turning and walking away.

"Miss Eva? What's goin on?" Jack asked looking scared.

"Jack, I would never lie to you remember that always. You have appenacitis and have to have surgery. What this means is that Doctor Rupert is going to take you appendix out and you'll have a really cool scar right here." I said lifting up my tee and showing him my appendix scar.

"Really?"

"Yep and you'll get all the ice cream and pudding you can handle for a while."

"Where's my mom and dad?"

"Your mom is in the waiting room, waiting on you. And your dad's Daniel Towling right?"

"No are you going to stay with me?"

"Till the very end if you want me to." I said watching the little boy trying to figure out what he meant by that Daniel Towling wasn't his dad."

"Please?"

"Sure, Jack. I have to go wash up and put on some other clothes on real quick and then I'll be back."

I changed in to the scrubs one of the nurses gave me and washed like I was going to do the surgery then headed into the room and held Jackson's hand while Doctor Rupert did the surgery.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The surgery took less than an hour and then Jack was in recovery. I waited until Jack had woken up and then headed out to let Katilyn know everything was fine and that Jack was awake and headed up to what would be his room in the next twenty minutes, Jack would need to stay the night for observation but would be here only a day or two but three at the most and would be fine after that.

"Oh God. Evangeline!" Katilyn sobbed when I entered the waiting room.

"Katilyn, Jackson's fine. He's in recovery now and should be in his room a few minutes. Once he's there you can go be with him."

"Oh God! Eva, thank you so much. Jack's good. Oh God he's fine." Kati whaled as she grabbed my hands.

"Yes. He's a warrior Kati. Jack is in recovery right now. Doctor Rupert did a great job and I'm sure he'll be out here in a minute."

"I'm here now. Sorry I'm late, but had to check on Jack and sign off on a few things first. Miss Sanders your son Jackson is truly a trooper here and pulled through like a champ. He's awake now and wants to know where the ice cream is and if his scar will look like Miss Eva's." Doctor Rupert said as we followed him into Jack's room.

"Thanks you so much." Kati said hugging him.

"Miss Sanders you should be thanking Doctor Hanes. She's the one who actually saved him. Great job, if you need a job ever I'll gladly put in a good word with the chief of medicine." Doctor Rupert said and then walked away before I could say anything.

"Go Kati. Go and see your son. I'll call Nana and let her know everything's fine." I said opening the door for her.

"Thank you for everything." Kati said.

"Evangeline, Kati. How's Jackson?" Landon asked from behind me.

"What? What are you doing here Landon?" I demanded.

"I called him, Eva." Sheriff Derek said from beside me.

"Why?" I asked as it seemed that I really couldn't avoid him that much when everyone kept putting him in my face.

"He's Jack's little league coach and a friend to Katilyn." Derek said.

"Jack isn't Daniel's." I whispered as I remembered what Jack had told me earlier and the feeling that I had seen Jack's eyes before.

"No, it can't be…it's not true. Please tell me that it's not true." I pleaded as Landon stepped towards me.

"Evangeline, let's go somewhere private and talk." Landon said taking another step towards me.

"But you can't be. You can't say it because-

"I think I'm going to see how Jack's doing." Sheriff Derek said sliding towards Doctor Rupert.

"Eva please let me-

"You cheated on me back then!" I demanded.

"Evangeline just let me explain." Landon said taking another step in my direction.

"No, no, I don't want or need to hear anything else from you. I need to leave now. Kati…Derek tell Jack I'll check on him later." I said after glancing at Kati then turning to leave and trying to hide the urge to run.

Once in the elevator I fell to the floor crying. After four floors I had made quite the recovery and was steady on my feet when I walked to my car. I dialed Nana as I sat in the Esclade.

"Evangeline honey how is Jackson?"

"Good, he's perfect. Nana."

"That's good. What's wrong dear? You sound upset."

"Jackson is Landon's child." I stated as I started my car.

"Landon finally told you."

"Landon what? No, Nana I figured it out myself, wait finally what do you mean finally?"

"He's been moping all over town since he found out that you were moving back and that he could find a way to tell you that he had gotten Katilyn Sanders pregnant."

"You knew and didn't tell me." I demanded staring at my steering wheel.

"Darling how could I and Landon wanted to tell you himself." Nana said.

"Well he didn't Nana. I figured it out all on my own. My friend Amelia's coming into town and staying with us for a while." I said hanging up then pulling out of the parking lot and dialing Jacob.

"Eva how's small town life?" Jacob said laughing.

"I just saved my first loves eleven year old child that I didn't even know about. Oh and by the way this child was conceived while my first love was still dating and screwing me."

"Damn girl. That's bad. You alright?"

"Um…that would be a major no. My Nana knew of the child and never told me."

"Evangeline what are you going to do now? You weren't the girl's friend back then were you?"

"Eleven years ago she was a close friend but now…I thought we could be once again."

"Amelia told me that she and Charles had broken up and she was moving there with you." Jacob said.

"Yeah, I told her she was moving just a little too fast but you're welcome to move here too, the more the merrier. Maybe ya'll could help keep Landon away from me." I said finally heading into Summer Hill.

"I'm sure Dean and I will be on the next flight when he hears this news, you just gave me. Have you told Amelia?"

"Not yet. I called you first well Nana first then you."

"Where are you now?"

"Heading to find Mr. Darrell Jones."

"Where is Mrs. Jones?"

"Died of breast cancer, from what I've been told. Doc owned the old doctor offices here in town and retired last year."

"And you're looking to fill his shoes."

"Not really. Big shoes and all but the building yes. I'm here; I'll talk to you later."

"Sure honey you hang in there." Jacob said just before hanging up.

Doc Jones, now just Darrell Jones was living on the out skirts of town in a small country house. I got out and headed to the front door.

"Evangeline Hanes or is it James now. I wondered when you would come see me." Doctor Jones said opening the door to let me inside.

"Doc how you been? And it's Hanes I never changed it legally."

"Good and retired you?"

"Oh stressed out at the moment but I'll survive and figure everything out one day."

"Anything I can help you with?"

"No I don't think so. Just wanted to see about your old offices and picking your ear on how to start my own practice." I said taking a seat at his kitchen table.

Doc and I talked for three hours and he gave me some great advice about starting my own practice here in town and the names of a few people who would be able to help me. It was refreshing to see him again and lifted my spirits quite a bit. When I left him at three-thirty I was ready to apologize to Nana about the way I had treated her. So I headed home.

"Evangeline, your back." Nana said when I entered the kitchen.

"Yes Nana I'm sorry for the way I was talking to you earlier."

"Yes I know honey. You were upset I understand. I also understand why, you still have feelings for Landon."

"No."

"No, what?"

"No I don't have feelings for Landon at least not the way you believe I do. All this time I was clinging to why he left the way he did and how Katilyn ignored me those last few weeks before graduation. Now I know, I want to say I understand. Nothing like that at all, but at least now I know."

"He wants to talk to you. Explain things for him-self."

"Too early for that I'm not ready to talk to him."

"That's what I told him. He said that he had made a deal with you and would try to keep to it but he never wanted you to find out this way."

"No, I just bet he didn't. Landon should have said something when he was ripping my heart to pieces that night eleven years ago."

"I wanted to, I just didn't know how. Hell I still don't know how to explain it to you." Landon said from the backdoor watching me.

"Go away!" I demanded not looking at him.

"I can't do that Evangeline. You and I both know that." Landon said

"Oh my well I'll just go check on the boys now." Nana said leaving the kitchen in a hurry, the traitor.

"I do not want to do this right now. Go away, please?"

"You need to hear it and I need to say it. We can't put this conversation off any longer."

"NO!"

"Evangeline." Landon said walking closer

"Landon, STOP! Just stop. You had your chance to explain when you decided to leave me broken hearted on that back road. The past is the past. We've both grew up and things have changed."

"You're mad and I get that."

"No mad does not describe what I'm feeling right now and you don't get it otherwise you wouldn't have come here."

"Evangeline, please?"

"Fine, Landon. Say your peace then leave me alone." I demanded turning to face him.

"I can't leave you alone. Don't you see that? I need you to know and understand."

"Not going to happen. Landon I'm serious you can tell me anything you want. You can tell me the sky is black when I know for sure that it's blue. But I will never in a million years understand any flipping thing you have to say to me. Right now anything you have to say will just be words to me. Now what the hell do you have to say or are you going to leave me be?" I demanded facing him and feeling like I was squaring off with him for a fight.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. But I feel the need to explain… explain it all to you."

"How about this you leave me alone right now. Let me think and process things and I'll seek you out when I'm ready to hear anything you have to say or I have anything to say to you."

"Evangeline, please just listen to me."

"Landon now is not the best time to push her. Let it be for now and she'll find you when she's ready to talk." Nana said from the doorway behind me.

"Alright Eva, have it your way for now we will have to talk about this." Landon said sounding defeated but he still turned and left the way he came into the house.

"Nana."

"I know honey and I've made up the room across from you for your friend. She's welcome to stay here as long as she wants."

"Thank you." I said turning and heading to my bedroom to think and sort through everything that had happened today.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

SUNDAY

Amelia showed up at one am tired and complaining about the long trip. I had decided that unpacking was better than actually thinking about the day's events.

"Just go to bed we'll talk in the morning." I said standing in the doorway of where Amelia was gonna sleep for now.

"You sure you don't want to talk. You look like you need to talk to a friend."

"No, the morning will do. I still need to think a few things through before I start talking to anyone. Sorry, sleep tight. I'll see you tomorrow." I said turning and heading towards my own room and shutting the door.

I had already gotten into my pajamas before Amelia's arrival. I had been asleep when her ringtone woke me up but now I had a very bad feeling I was going to be awake for a very long time. I decided that since I was awake and going to be awake for a while I would do some research. How much to buy the offices, how to get the correct licenses to open the office, find a business and health core manager for the office. And by the time that I was done with all that it was only three am. So I sat on my Nana's front porch and smoked my Newport 100's. Nana would have a cow when she found out that I was smoking once again. But it helped me to think. And think I did all about Landon and the whole Jackson situation that is going on past, present, and the future. Is it possible that I am still in love with Landon after all these years? I mean I took the news of him having a child with Kati fourteen years ago. Could I really, I had loved Holden the way I loved Landon all those years ago.

Landon was my first love and the only one that made me feel totally safe, put butterfly's in my stomach or took my breath away whenever I saw him. But I never got that with Holden. Things were so different I just thought they were me but could it have been that I had known that there was more than just that Landon didn't want to follow me as he had told me that horrible night. Was I truly the reason that Holden did what he did? Could I have pushed him away and not known I was? I pulled my IPhone out and dialed without thinking.

"Evangeline, are you okay?" Holden answered on the second ring

"Yes, I mean no. Look I have a few things to ask you and I need you to tell me the truth no holds barred."

"Sure, what is it?"

"When we were together did you ever feel like I pushed you away? Did you ever feel like I didn't love you?"

"Evangeline, what is this about?"

"Please just answer the questions."

"Okay. If you're sure you want the truth."

"Yes, please."

"Then yes to both. I felt like there was a part of you that I couldn't reach I tried so hard to get past that wall you had put up against me but I couldn't get to the center of your heart. I know it doesn't excuse what I did to you though."

"Thanks for telling me the truth."

"Evangeline, what is this about?"

"Nothing I was just thinking some things through."

"You sure, I have always been there to listen to you just never made it easy for me to approach you."

"Thanks."

"Look Evangeline, I wasn't blaming you or saying that it excuses what I did to you."

"Holden I know and thank you for telling me the truth. I gotta go." I said standing even though I knew he wouldn't see it.

"I'm glad you called me and you can call any time you want. I still care about you."

"Great thanks, bye." I said hanging up.

The call to Holden had only taken half an hour and now I was feeling like I needed to talk to Jacob my resident psychiatrist so I dialed the number hoping I wasn't waking him up.

"Eva, are you okay?"

"No, Jacob I'm not."

"What's going on?"

So I went in to detail on what I had just found out about Landon and my call with him along with why I wasn't telling him and not waking Amelia up to talk to her.

"You still love him?"

"Who Holden? No, no what no that much I know for sure."

"No honey, Landon. You and I both know that it's always been Landon. You never really loved Holden, he knew it, I knew it Amelia knew it, only you were in the dark on that fact." Jacob said.

"How come I didn't realize this earlier?"

"Because you wanted to be over him, you wanted to forget Landon and then whole situation. You want my opinion?"

"Why the hell would I call you at four in the morning and wake you ass up if I didn't want you opinion and for you to tell me the truth please Jacob."

"Talk to him, let him know how you feel. You know how you feel and don't put it off. Go to him and talk to him face to face. Let Landon explain to you what he was thinking and feeling and Evangeline, listen to me when I say this, listen to him when he explains everything to you. I know it will be hard to listen to what he has to say, but he has to say, but listen to what he has to say before you make any judgments."

"Thanks, okay that's what I thought."

"You're not going to are you?"

"I will I promise you. I just have to figure out what I want to say first. Thanks for the advice Jacob."

"No problem, babe."

"And tell Dean that I'm sorry for calling so late, or rather early in the morning."

"He will understand, Bye honey."

"Bye. Talk to you later today then."

The conversation with Jacob had helped me and I knew for sure that before I talked to Landon, I had to talk to Katilyn. I changed into a pair of Silver Jeans and an old sweatshirt of Landon's from high school, pulled my long curly hair into a messy ponytail and grabbed a pair of flip flops, totally not caring if I matched or not and left. I headed to the hospital where Kati was with Jack since Ray and Sean were sleeping on the carpet of the living room floor. The drive there would give me some more time to think and I knew that talking to Kati first was the right thing for me to do and would allow me the ability to know what to say to Landon. I parked in a close spot and then walked to Jack's room. He would probably be sleeping right now and Kati was probably sleeping too but I needed to talk to her before I lost my nerve.

"Doctor Hanes, good morning. Young Jackson is doing really well." A sleep eyed nurse greeted me as I walked past the nurse's station.

"Morning and thank you, is Miss Sanders in the room with her son?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Thanks." I said turning and heading towards the room that was Jack's.

Two deep breaths and I walked into the room not stopping to think about what I was doing for too long otherwise I would have just left.

"Kati?" I asked softly from the doorway.

"Evangeline, you're here. Jack will be happy that you stopped by. He's been asking for you." Kati said from the chair beside Jack's bed where he was sound asleep.

"How's he doing? The nurse said that he was doing good." I asked walking farther inside and walking the moment to last that I didn't have to talk about what I was really there for.

"Good. The doctors say that he should be able to go home tomorrow. He's a little angry with Landon and my-self though." Kati said.

"Oh he knows?" I asked totally caught off guard with that one.

"Yes, when he asked why you weren't here I told him. I've never lied to him before and I promised my-self that I wouldn't start now. I assume that you're here to talk to me."

"I am."

"It's the least I can do. I'm not ashamed of what happened though and what I got out of it. I told him that you'd come talk to me."

"Who?"

"Landon. Have you talked to him? He didn't believe me when I said you'd come here to talk to me, he said that you were angry with him and that your problem was with him and not me. He went to see you?"

"Yes, he came to see me. I'm not angry anymore, I think. And what does he think that I'm gonna do fight you?" I asked laughing

"Well let's talk it's the least that I can do for you."

"What happened back then Kati? You and I were friends back then I thought. Was I wrong?"

"Let's take a walk and I'll try to explain it all to you." Kati said leading me out of the room that Jackson was sleeping in and walking with me down the hall.

After Katilyn told the nurses that she was going for a walk and that if they needed her for anything or if Jackson woke up to just call her.

"Wow, where to start… Yes, Eva I thought we were friends too. God knows why you were friends with me in the first place. You were smart, popular and so great at everything that you did when I was the girl from the other side of town and were thought to do and be wrong at everything. "

"Kati, you were fun and crazy and I was so serious all the time when I meet you. You were everything in a friend that I needed. Kati what happened?"

"Remember out senior year when you and Land on got into that huge fight about going to Addison Kingsley's party? The two of you broke up for two months."

"Yeah I remember that fight. It was one of our worst fights in the world and the worst two months of my life."

"Yeah, I bet. It was the best two months of mine. In secret of course, I knew he still loved you in a way that no guy has ever loved me before. The night you and Landon broke up, he showed up at this party in Black Earth that I was at. I was there because everyone in this damn town thought I was the town slut so I was trying to live up to that reputation. When I say that Landon was there too I was happy and thought that he would save me because I was a friend of yours. He wanted to stay and hang out and I agreed so we started drinking and talking. Landon was so charming, funny, sweet and easy to talk to. God, I couldn't believe that he was actually talking to me. When he talked to me he asked my opinion and when he smiled it was for me and at me. I thought it was an amazing thing that a guy like him could smile at me like he was really interested in me and what I had to say. I tried to keep telling myself he was yours. But as we drank more the line I had drew in my head became grayer. I knew it was wrong and wanted your friendship more than anything in the world, but Landon…Landon was everything I had ever wanted but never had in my life before. We were so drunk that neither of us should have been driving but somehow Landon drove us to my house. My mother was out drinking and finding another guy to keep her company. So I invited Landon in because I didn't want to lose his attention. I replay that night over and over again in my head. I should have called you to come get him or made him sleep on the couch, but what happened was that he and I started drinking again and we both just let everything happen. I thought if it happens this one time I won't hurt anything or anyone since the two of you weren't together and if ya'll did get back together, then so what. Ya'll were meant for each other, that's just how things were supposed to be at least I got a taste of how a guy is supposed to treat me."

We arrived in the cafeteria and both of us got coffee and headed for a table to continue to talk.

"The next morning I waited for him to apologize and ask me not to say anything to you about what happened or something lame like that. But nothing, he never said anything about you or what had happened between us the night before. Landon said good bye and that he'd call me. I never thought he would actually do it since he hadn't asked for my number and I had heard that line come out of other guy's mouths a million times before from the many men my mom had brought home with her. But it didn't really matter to me if he did call I had that night with him. My mom tore into me the second he was gone. What was I thinking of going after one of my friends guys? Of all the things in her life that she did wrong she never went after a friends ex or current man. She told me that it just broke every girl code in the world. She asked me how I was going to explain to you about what had happened between my-self and Landon. I told her that she was wrong, that this was different, Landon was different. I cried for two hours because I knew that she was right and that if you ever found out you would hate me and I would lose my friend forever. I lost my only friend and was gonna tell Landon that it wouldn't happen again if I ever saw him again or if he said anything to me about it. Landon came over that afternoon; I thought it was to tell me everything that I had already decided. But then he smiled at me and he brought me flowers. He said he was sorry that he just showed up but that he had forgotten to get my number before he left that morning otherwise he would have called before showing up. It was so sweet and made me feel even a little worse for it being Landon. We went for a walk since my mom was still home and talked about my plans for after I graduated and we had this great time talking. Landon said that two of you were over for good this time since you had different plans for your future and that he didn't really fit into. I knew that was the moment to tell him, I was your friend and that you were my only friend and that I couldn't let this thing go any farther than friends because even though he was telling me that ya'll were not getting back together the two of you probably would. But I couldn't find the words, I don't know why but I couldn't. I should have but after that we were always together. Just not in public. I cherished those days and nights because I knew one day Landon would come tell me it was over and that he wanted to get you back. The day that my mother laughed in my face and told me that Landon and you were back together and that she had heard it from you Nana at the salon, I had just found out I was two months pregnant and graduation was a week away. I didn't know what to do. Did I keep the child, give it up for adoption, did I tell Landon that I was pregnant or just leave town. Finally I decided that I was going to keep the child and leave town after graduation but that I would tell Landon about the child not because I wanted him to choose me or follow me out of town but I knew in my heart that he needed to know that he was going to have a child. I was almost three months pregnant when I called Landon and had him meet me so that I could tell him that I was leaving for Texas the night of graduation I also told him that I knew that he was with you again and that was fine with me. Landon told me that he was glad I had told him and that he would go with me to Texas and that we would raise the child together but that we wouldn't be together as a couple. I thought that it meant that he was going to stay with you. Landon said that he would explain everything to you and not to worry.

"At graduation I found out from Carrie Stevens that he had broken up with you, I thought, well I assumed that it was because of me and the baby but I never asked and Landon never said. Landon and I left that night. He stayed with me at my Aunt Dottie's place until he found his own place. Landon was amazing the whole time and was there for everything that had to do with Jackson. I meet Daniel Towling when Jack was almost two. Dan was great at first and I got pregnant again after Jack had turned two. But Dan was everything I had ever wanted and he took care of Jack and Ray. When Jack was four and Ray was two, Dan hit me for the first time. It all started because he was jealous and mad that Landon and I had spent the whole day at the park with the boys. I thought it was insane that Dan thought that Landon was trying to get in my pants since he had asked me and Ray to the park but it was okay for Dan to hang out and do things with Jack." Kati told me as she looked me in the eyes.

"What did you do?" I asked listening as we started walking once again.

"Left with the boys. Landon let us stay with him in California since that was where he was living and he found me a job. Dan followed soon after that and became that great guy I fell in love with. I was stupid and took him back believing that he wouldn't ever hit me again. Then I married him. Dan realized it before I did that Landon was in California because he wanted to be with you once again. Landon had this construction job and then I found out that I was pregnant again. But then Landon got a promotion and moved to New York. I didn't want Jack away from his dad so I followed him there with the boys and Dan in tow. I had three boys and a husband and was starting a new job once again. Things between Dan and me were going great. Landon even gave Dan a job in construction. But then once again something in Dan changed. Landon never saw it, no one did but I saw it and felt the shift. I scared me but I was hoping that it was just me. You know like I was seeing things that weren't there. I was so wrong, I got sick and the boys were at a sleepover so I was on the couch waiting to make supper for Dan when he finally made it home but when he actually showed up I was asleep on the couch. Dan… he was so drunk and so mad that I hadn't made him supper. I tried to apologize but he wouldn't listen to me and it didn't even matter that he had already ate out with his boys. I just kept hitting me over and over again. When he finally got tired and stopped I thought I was going to die."

"Katilyn!" I demanded looking at her with goggled eyes.

"Look, I'm not telling you all of this so that you can feel sorry for me. It took me awhile, a lot of bruises, broken bones and an ego check to tell Landon about Daniel hitting me again. He saved my life and the life of my children when he brought us here. I'm sorry you weren't told about Jackson. I should have been a better friend but I cannot regret what happened with Landon, Landon is a great dad to Jackson and he still loves you. He always has, I have to get back to my son and you need to go talk to Landon."

"Are you going to be okay? I mean I did drag up some old wounds and I am sorry about that."

"No problem, don't even think about it. I have my boys; they are safe, happy and well cared for. That's all I've ever wanted."

"Will you tell Jack that I'll stop by to see him once he's made it home." I said turning and heading to my car.

My conversation with Kati hadn't gone the way I really wanted it to but then again once I started listening to her I completely forgot all my demands and questions. I knew I couldn't be all that mad at Landon or Kati about what happened between them, the fact was that I was not with Landon at that time. But I was angry that he wasn't straight with me. After everything he and I had been through that was the least he could have done for me. I headed straight to Landon's apartment that Nana had told me of. It was Saturday morning so I knew that he would be home. I pulled up behind Landon's Ford F-150 at seven am. As I walked to his door I knew what I would say to him.

"I'm coming. I'm coming alright!" Landon demanded as I pounded on his front door like a mad woman.

"Look, whoever you are its way to damn early for you to be acting like… Evangeline, hay what are you doing here?" Landon asked looking like he was about to swallow his tongue.

"Um… Good morning, may I come in and talk or do I have to stand out here and talk to you?" I asked truly enjoying the fact that I had woke him up even as I watched Landon with no shirt on and a pair of ratty jeans that weren't even buttoned and doubted very much that he even knew that he hadn't buttoned his pants.

"Yeah, I mean yes come on in. Please, Evangeline can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"I just have a few questions Landon. Why?" I asked as I followed him into his kitchen to only run into him when he stopped abruptly.

"Why?"

"Yes, I've been thinking and the only thing that keeps running through my head is why. Why didn't you just tell me that you and Kati had been together while we were apart and that you had gotten her pregnant?" I asked watching him look at me.

"Evangeline, please just let me explain."

"Landon that is actually why I'm here; I talked to Kati and I've been thinking a lot. Hell I even called my best friend Jacob, who's a damn shrink. Among a few things I don't understand is why. Why you didn't just tell me that Kati was pregnant and that you wanted to be there for your child instead of that shit you spouted at me, making me feel like a horrible person and making me doubt not only myself but my dreams too, you spouted off about how you thought I was too good for you and that I didn't love you as much as you loved me. You said that I was going places where they wouldn't welcome a man like you. Please just explain that to me, why did you tell me and treat me like shit, I mean if you didn't love me anymore I can… I don't know deal with all that emotional shit, but didn't you think that I deserved to know the real reason that you didn't want to be with me."

"I didn't know how to tell you. Iii could barely admit it to myself. Kati had told me that she was pregnant and I knew that I needed to do the honorable thing even if I couldn't marry her since I was madly in love with you and that wasn't fair to her but when I saw your face I would have sold my soul to the devil if I could have avoided the pain to put you through."

"You didn't think that I would be able to handle that you had gotten someone else pregnant while we were apart and that you wanted to be there for your child."

"Eva, I knew that the second I said the words aloud. I got Katilyn Sanders pregnant that they would be true and what I told you that night those things, I really didn't mean to say them or make you think badly about yourself, but I did think that you were and you are too good for me or a guy like me. You had this amazing vision of what you wanted out of your life and a drive that stunned me speechless at times because it was going to get you what you wanted. And then there was me… I got the love of my life's friend pregnant at twenty because I couldn't keep myself in my pants for two months that we were apart. You weren't even out of high school yet and here I was already having to tell you that I failed at getting out of this damn town with you. Everything you wanted… that life you wanted I wanted too, I wanted to be that guy for you. All I ever wanted was to be that guy for you the one that you never asked me to be but the one that you could count on and had me want to be. The guy you needed wanted, that guy could be your everything, but I wasn't feeling like that guy."

"So this is my fault?" I asked thinking about something that Kati has said to me.

"No, not at all, mine entirely. I thought that if you knew about Kati or that I was the one that got her pregnant, that you wouldn't want anything to do with me ever again. I realize now that I didn't trust in you enough. Evangeline, what are you thinking?"

"That night that you and I broke up, Kati said ya'll meet at a party in Black Earth."

"Yeah Addison Kinsley's party, why?"

"I was there too, but I hadn't known that you were there. Either of you were there."

"Who were you with?" Landon asked watching me

"Milo Dobbson. I'm surprised that neither of you hadn't seen me since I so wasn't trying to hide while I had my tongue in Milo's mouth and his hand under my shirt."

"Really? I mean, I remember you telling me that you had been with Milo and hearing a rumor of it in town but in the middle of the party."

"Yeah, it wasn't me and it wasn't something that I would have normally done and that was why I did it but I hurt him in the end. Why did you follow me to California?"

"To see if you'd give me another chance. But when I finally found you, you were with that guy Holden, and I knew that I was too late. But then I heard that you and he were having problems so I followed you to New York and see if I had a chance with you once again. But when I went to the hospital to see you, there were these doctors that were talking about how you and your husband were having problems but were trying to make the marriage work. Then Kati finally told me about Dan hitting her again so I moved back here knowing that she'd follow me. Towling was in jail and Kati had a restraining order against him. You had moved on and I would too sooner or later. But then all of the sudden the whole town is talking about how you were finally divorced from the creep you married and were moving back to town. You were coming to my town, the place I had made a home, a place that finally accepted me as I am and the jobs I created for the town. I would finally be able to tell you everything and we could get back on track. But then I saw you and I knew you hated me for how I treated you that night eleven years ago."

"No."

"Evangeline, I am so sorry I didn't just tell you and that you found out the way you did and not from me."

"Landon, I don't hate you and I never actually did, kinda. I wished that I did sometimes but never actually could. I saw you in California. I told my friend Jacob about you and he said I should look you up but I couldn't so he did and then Holden and I got into this huge fight about him getting my roommate pregnant. Jacob told me where I could find you, God I drove to where you were working. I just couldn't find the strength to go inside. And then Holden and I made up and I forgot about you for a while. And in New York at the hospital I saw you but I was busy with a patient and when I went looking for you I couldn't find you. I looked everywhere but you were gone. And I thought that it was a sign I was supposed to be with Holden and actually try to make it work. Jacob and Amelia tried to get me to find you again. They gave me your address and told me where you were working. But when I finally found the courage to go to your house your landlady told me that you had moved the week before."

"Evangeline."

"I always loved you, even when I was married to Holden. You were the guy I wasted Holden to be. He knew it too, felt it. Just one of the many reasons that the marriage didn't work."

"I still love you." Landon said.

"I'm not ready for you to be in my life like that once again. I do love you and always will. I just don't know where we go from here. Plus there's the fact that my divorce was only finalized six months ago." I said as my cell rang and we heard Miranda Lambert belting out "Only Prettier".

"Eva."

"Hello." I said answering my phone and ignoring Landon.

"Hey Eva where are you?"

"On my way in a bit just something I had to do. Be there in a few I promise."

"Evangeline, Can we finish talking please?" Landon said watching me as I hung up.

"I'm sorry Landon but I've gotta go. I'm tired and my friend Amelia just moved here. We'll talk later." I said turning and leaving the apartment as fast as I could.

God what was I thinking that I could talk to Landon and not feel… well feel like this. This was not a good idea and I blame Jacob for it but I didn't get some answers from Landon and we sorted something's out but I have a feeling that things may get so much worse before they actually got better.


End file.
